On Friday 22nd June 2007, Durban Finance consultant Tina Nunes and her husband Tony, signed adoption papers for young Jesse. Their journey that had begun two years before had finally become a reality............................ Jesse legally had a home. This is Tina, Tony and Jesse's story. On July the 15th 2005 my husband Tony and I were living on a farm in Cato Ridge and I was running a community hospice center. On this particular day, two elderly people arrived with a tiny 5 week old baby wrapped up in a towel. They said that they were the baby’s grandparents and that the baby’s parents had left their residence two days previously because the mother was sick and needed to go to hospital. However, they had not returned. They wanted to know if the baby could stay in the hospice until the parents returned.
“I phoned a friend Rae, who is a qualified nursing sister, and she advised that young babies have undeveloped immune systems, and would thus be at risk in a hospice surrounded by very ill people. I unwrapped the towel and looked at this tiny baby. He was beautiful, dressed only in a nappy and short-sleeved vest. I loved him from the first moment I laid eyes upon him.
We did not want another child as we have four almost grown up children, and we were actually counting the days until Tony and I would be footloose and fancy free. A week prior to this event I had had a dream, and which lead me to tell Tony that there was a new important job on the way. I didn’t think it would be the job of raising another child.
It turned out that Jesse’s biological parents were not able to care for him, and within a few short days I realized I would battle to give him up. My friends and most of my family were very supportive, plying us with clothes and baby equipment. Without any major outlay Jesse wears designer clothes and has had all the mod-con equipment he could need. In addition to calling him Jesse, and discovering after the fact, that one of its meanings is “Gift from God”, the assistance has further given us confirmation that keeping Jesse is the right thing to do.
Tony speaks Zulu and Jesse will be brought up speaking Zulu as well as English. “Our closest friends, and other people from our church have adopted cross culturally, so Jesse will grow up amongst a mix of children. Members of Jesse’s family visit him every two months, which means he is not divorced from his heritage or his roots.” We want Jesse to grow up with pride – being adopted is not second prize!”
There have been many problems during the adoption process. The rural social welfare departments and magistrate courts are averse to cross cultural adoptions. They are also over worked and under resourced, so after problems in the early stages of trying to adopt Jesse, we hired a private social worker who specializes in cross cultural adoptions.
On the 21st of June, my husband was told by a person when speaking about Jesse’s adoption, that he knows one Xhoza name “Tsepo” – and it means “blessing”. As Jesse’s biological family are from Lesotho, we have decided that this is a fitting second name.
On Friday the 22nd June 2007, we legally became Jesse Tsepo Nunes’ parents. It was a joy filled moment to realize that we do not have to worry that he will ever be removed from our care and we get to enjoy watching him growing up to be a fine young man. He has filled our lives with so much happiness that we only see it as gift and blessing from God. In addition my biological children have matured because they’ve been stretched beyond their own needs and wants and I believe that it’s made them more responsible, more loving and more compassionate. We all strive to bring our children up to have social consciences and Jesse has certainly expanded this experience for us. He is an example of what the New South Africa should be about.
My final words are that there are nearly three million orphaned black children in South Africa today, and if every family who had the means, chose to adopt and love a black child, this South African social crises would be resolved.
If I was given one more wish, it would be that there would be no-more unloved and uncared for orphans and that there is a family for each one!
“I phoned a friend Rae, who is a qualified nursing sister, and she advised that young babies have undeveloped immune systems, and would thus be at risk in a hospice surrounded by very ill people. I unwrapped the towel and looked at this tiny baby. He was beautiful, dressed only in a nappy and short-sleeved vest. I loved him from the first moment I laid eyes upon him.
We did not want another child as we have four almost grown up children, and we were actually counting the days until Tony and I would be footloose and fancy free. A week prior to this event I had had a dream, and which lead me to tell Tony that there was a new important job on the way. I didn’t think it would be the job of raising another child.
It turned out that Jesse’s biological parents were not able to care for him, and within a few short days I realized I would battle to give him up. My friends and most of my family were very supportive, plying us with clothes and baby equipment. Without any major outlay Jesse wears designer clothes and has had all the mod-con equipment he could need. In addition to calling him Jesse, and discovering after the fact, that one of its meanings is “Gift from God”, the assistance has further given us confirmation that keeping Jesse is the right thing to do.
Tony speaks Zulu and Jesse will be brought up speaking Zulu as well as English. “Our closest friends, and other people from our church have adopted cross culturally, so Jesse will grow up amongst a mix of children. Members of Jesse’s family visit him every two months, which means he is not divorced from his heritage or his roots.” We want Jesse to grow up with pride – being adopted is not second prize!”
There have been many problems during the adoption process. The rural social welfare departments and magistrate courts are averse to cross cultural adoptions. They are also over worked and under resourced, so after problems in the early stages of trying to adopt Jesse, we hired a private social worker who specializes in cross cultural adoptions.
On the 21st of June, my husband was told by a person when speaking about Jesse’s adoption, that he knows one Xhoza name “Tsepo” – and it means “blessing”. As Jesse’s biological family are from Lesotho, we have decided that this is a fitting second name.
On Friday the 22nd June 2007, we legally became Jesse Tsepo Nunes’ parents. It was a joy filled moment to realize that we do not have to worry that he will ever be removed from our care and we get to enjoy watching him growing up to be a fine young man. He has filled our lives with so much happiness that we only see it as gift and blessing from God. In addition my biological children have matured because they’ve been stretched beyond their own needs and wants and I believe that it’s made them more responsible, more loving and more compassionate. We all strive to bring our children up to have social consciences and Jesse has certainly expanded this experience for us. He is an example of what the New South Africa should be about.
My final words are that there are nearly three million orphaned black children in South Africa today, and if every family who had the means, chose to adopt and love a black child, this South African social crises would be resolved.
If I was given one more wish, it would be that there would be no-more unloved and uncared for orphans and that there is a family for each one!
1 comment:
This is a beautiful story, Tina. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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