TINA NUNES IS AWARDED INTERNATIONAL PATENT

Durban Finance Manger, Tina Nunes has won an international patent for her anti-car theft device. The device takes an hour to fit and has 100% money back guarantee. The product has been launched under the name, "n boer maak 'n plan". Please contact her for trade inquiries. Manpower staff get a 10% discount.

This is a parody and should not be taken seriously.

LEKNATH PADDY WHACK

We were not sure what to entitle this posting - it went from, "the hole that Ian made" to "Leknath Paddy Wack". You see, the story behind this curious event is that Pravesh (aka Leknath) made a single placement to the value of R85,200 shattering all Durban General records. Ian recognised his achievement by sending out a national email to Manpower. The result was that Pravesh's head started swelling to the point that Durban General had to consider renting the offices next door to store his swollen head (and macho ego). Ian, being the eternal miser, decided to rather remove two ceiling boards in the roof to accomodate his swollen appendage (definition: An appendage in the broadest sense is an additional or subsidiary part existing on, or added to, something which can generally still function if the appendage has never existed or is later provided or grown, or will still perform a primary function if the appendage is removed). Please note that no ceiling boards were harmed in the process and will be replaced once the 'ego has landed'.

MEET MISS MANPOWER EASTER BUNNY 2008

Bryanston Technical Engineering are pleased to announce

Manpower Miss Easter Bunny 2008

award goes to

GUGU MADINANE

CAPE TOWN NORTH LEADS IN EASTER INNOVATION DRIVE

Amanda and her team had a wonderful idea for an easter drive. Beacon had the slogan, "let the hunt begin" printed on the eggs and Cape Town North were quick to capitalize on this with a slogan of their own, "let us do the hunting for you". They delivered 100 eggs with the attached card. The idea was quickly 'stolen' by Durban General & Durban Finance.

MARCH LAUGH

We have included a video for your March laugh. Press play and give it some time to load. If the streaming starts and stops leave it to stream right through to the end and then press play again.

Certain people have said that this dancer looks like one unmentioned manager in Manpower. For an extra laugh: Which male manager at Manpower does this 'exotic' dancer remind you of (JP, Rodney or Ian?) Leave your comment on who it reminds you MOST of.

SHORTHAND FOR JOB SEEKERS with Candice Sundkvist

COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
FLEXIBLE HOURS: Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.
ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD: You whine, you're fired.
CAREER-MINDED:We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.
SELF-MOTIVATED:Management won't answer questions
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:Some time each night and some time each weekend
DUTIES WILL VARY:Anyone in the office can boss you around.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:We have a lot of turnover.
SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

THE OTHER SIDE OF LIFE - top 10 sayings that we'd like to see on those office inspitational posters

Submitted by Candice Sundkvist (with tongue-in-cheek)

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.


2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.


3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.


4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity


6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.


7. Plagarism saves time.


8. If at first you don't succeed, try management.


9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.


10. TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

BALI INCENTIVE - to keep your mouth watering and your eye's focussed on your goal!

CLUB MED BALI

In the south of the island of Bali.
Airport: Denpasar
Transfer: 30 minutes.

Village welcomes children of any age, children’s club facilities provided from 2 years upwards.


ACCOMMODATION
468 rooms.
Shower room/WC, air conditioning, hair-dryer, mini-bar*, telephone, television, personal safes.


BARS AND RESTAURANTS
L'Agung, restaurant offering various buffet options.
Le Batur, speciality à la carte restaurant.
Snack bar (afternoon and evening), afternoon tea.
1 bar.

NEW TOTAL ALL-INCLUSIVE PACKAGE
At most Villages this season you will find the new Total All-inclusive formula where any extra drinks and snacks outside of meal times are included in your package price.
This package offers you a pre-paid open-bar, day and night, so you don’t have to worry about the bill at the end of your stay!


LEISURE ACTIVITIES
Swimming pool and separate children’s pool, Club Med Spa*, Turkish bath*, Jacuzzi*, sauna*, badminton, pool tables*, giant chessboard, pétanque, table tennis, midnight bar, taped classical music, live band, Club Med evening entertainment.

CLUB MED SPA*
Enjoy precious moments of well being at the Club Med Spa.
Turkish bath*, Jacuzzi*, sauna*.


CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS
BABIES
NEW Club Med Baby Welcome (up to 2 years) included in the price.
Everything for the comfort and well being of the very young and their parents.
Enrol at time of booking only; subject to availability (spaces are limited).
CHILDREN
Petit Club Med* (2 to 3 years)
Petit Club Med swimming pool and playground.
Enrol at time of booking only; subject to availability (spaces are limited).
Mini Club Med (4 to 10 years) included in the price.
A Mini Club Med swimming pool.
TEENAGERS
Juniors’ Club Med (11 to 17 years, throughout the season) included in the price.

SPORTS
GOLF
6-hole pitch and putt course within the Village, practice net, putting green, practice bunker.
Lessons for all levels.
Three 18-hole courses* outside the Village, one a 15-minute walk away. Green fees* payable on arrival.
Other sports also available on site…
Lessons for all levels
Circus school for children, flying trapeze, bungee trampoline.
Beginners
Windsurfing, snorkelling (only with boat trips), water aerobics, Club Med fitness, archery, yoga.
Sports available with no tuition
Kayaking, water polo, beach volleyball, football, weight-training room, sports hall (basketball, handball and volleyball), squash, tennis (6 hard courts).

DISCOVERY*
A SELECTION OF OUR EXCURSIONS*
• Bali paddy-fields by bicycle or on foot (1/2 day)
• Rafting on the Ayung (1/2 day)
• Monkey forest and sacred temples (1/2 day)
• Discover the hinterland by 4x4 (1 day)
• Boat trip to island of Lembogan (1 day)
• Kintamani (1 day)
• Visit to temples of Mengwi and Tanah Lot.
À la carte: Jogjakarta and Borobudur** by plane and bus (1 day), the cultural capital and sacred temples • Chauffeured car hire with guide.
Further information is available from the Excursions office at the Village.
**Classified as a World Heritage Site by UNESCO.


USEFUL THINGS TO KNOW

CLUB MED BALI
P.T. Holiday Villages
Lot No. 6, 80361 Nusa Dua - Bali - Indonesia
Tel: 00 62 361 771 521
Fax: 00 62 361 771 835

Other facilities
Club Med boutique*, local and Asian crafts (furniture and interior decoration)*, Balinese handicrafts covered market*, beach towels, washing machine*, tumble-dryer*, laundry service*, dry-cleaning*, hairdressing salon*, photographer*, Internet access*, conference rooms*.
Credit cards accepted in the Village
(for settlement of accounts only)
Visa, MasterCard, American Express.

For further information please speak to your BM or email danielle.easterbrook@manpower.co.za

SPY GIRL - THE SUPERNOVA SERIES (Part 1 of 6)

Our own literary superhero Spy Girl returns to Powernews with a serious of hard-hitting interviews. In this series she attempts to see what drives the most popular, colourful or crazy (you decide) stars of the national Manpower team. In her first interview, she gets down with the most elible batchelor/IT technician in Manpower, Darryl Mckrory on the eve of his 21st birthday.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Professional Baseball player in the USA.

Have you ever left your house without wearing underwear and why?
Yes, it’s more comfortable that way… hehehe

You told me that you can’t wait to have a kid, how are you planning to do that?
Hehehehehehe!

Where did you get your black eye, REALY, if you lie, I will know?
I’m sticking with my story…. The Rugby match thing….. I told you……

What Manpower Branch gives you the most IT trouble?
Cape town North….no….wait…. Cape town Finance… no wait….. Bryanston… no wait I really don’t want to say…..

Who is your favorite person at Manpower?
Thinking…. Taps… definitely Taps… He’s cool…

Do you ever stop and smell the roses, what do you do?
No I don’t, I walk straight past them I really don’t notice them, hold on, what kinda roses are they…?

Why did you let your mother do your hair?
I love my mommy……

Why don’t you own your own cigarette lighter, is it a moral decision?
I choose to play with the hot chicks at Bryanston Office support’s fire…

How do you use your toilet Paper crunched or folded…
What is toilet paper?

Shooters or beer?
I don’t know it’s hard to remember?

In your vast life experience (of 21 hehehehe) have you ever had a moral dilemma?
I once shot a tortoise with a gun, by accident…. I was walking through the bush hunting and little bastard hissed at me, I panicked and accidentally shot it….I feel bad now…

What is your favorite saying?
That older woman thing…… your mom’s quite nice…..

If you had to be a superhero what would your name be?
Danger Mouse….. so I can have danger cheese…. I don’t know, don’t ask me that!

What is your motto in life?
Go big or go home?

And has that panned out well for you …
Not yet, I’ve only been alive for 21 years….

MEET MR & MRS PECEUR

Machelle Pienaar got married to Firenzo Peceur on Saturday 1st March, Powernews was there along with her Manpower colleagues to catch the action - here are the pictures!

THE BULLS FEEL THE SHARKS BITE (our sincere condolences to Riekie and other unfortunate Bull supporters)

A glance at the 29-15 scoreline suggests that Sharks coach Dick Muir's plan worked a treat against the Bulls at Loftus on Saturday night, but the Sharks left it dangerously late before securing an important win against the Super 14 champions.
Muir, on the eve of the game, told The Witness that he thought his reserve bench would carry too much firepower for the Bulls in the closing stages. And so it proved, but even he had his doubts when the Sharks trailed 10-15 with just eight minutes remaining.
Muir said: "I was worried,but in a way it was probably a good thing that we were five behind needing to score a goal to win.
"It changed the mind-set of our players and made them more attacking. They responded superbly."
Indeed they did, running in three tries - to seal a bonus point - in eight minutes to turn a five-point deficit into a 14-point win.

It was an extraordinary turnaround. The Bulls had their chances to close out the game with three tries lost through poor finishing.
In contrast, and when the chances came late in both halves, the Sharks' pace and enterprise brought tries for wing Odwa Ndungane, flyhalf Frederic Michalak and the two flanks, Keegan Daniel and substitute Jacques Botes.
It was the introduction of the replacements, Adrian Jacobs, Botes, Craig Burden, Stefan Terblanche and Albert van den Berg, which brought energy and ambition to the Sharks' attacks.
Critically, though, they were helped by the yellow-card which was handed to JP Nel by referee Mark Lawrence for a spear-tackle on Frans Steyn well after he had passed the ball.
Nel was off for 10 of the last 12 minutes and while he was brooding in the cooler, the Sharks scored three tries.
Muir was back in familiar territory after the win, mightily relived, delighted with the log points, but unhappy with the quality of the rugby played by the Sharks.
"It was a brilliant win. It's not easy going to Loftus and I'm chuffed to come away with a win and a bonus point. But for an hour we did not exactly cover ourselves with glory and that's a worry."
'Suddenly we were back playing with a wet ball'
Muir said that the Sharks had planned and plotted to play "proper, expansive rugby" at Loftus.
"We wanted to express ourselves with ball in hand. But the heavy rain during the warm-up changed everything and suddenly we were back playing with a wet ball.
"We had to change our tactical approach and I think that threw us. Perhaps we were too defensive and it was only in the final quarter that we started to play the way we can."
Muir said he was proud of the way the players had responded, both to the physical challenge and the pressure in the closing minutes.
"We knew the Bulls would try and soften us up, but the players stood up well and then they had the character to score those 19 points in eight minutes at the end."
The Sharks coach said that both tighthead Jannie du Plessis and centre Brad Barritt had taken hard knocks. Their fitness would be assessed this week ahead of the top-of-the-log clash against the Blues on Saturday night.

The win enabled veteran Sharks lock Johan Ackermann to end his career on a high. The evening did not start well as referee Lawrence, who had a busy but impressive night controlling two fired-up teams, yellow-carded him after just a minute for throwing a punch.
But he played his part in a Sharks pack which stood up well to the Bulls and made the heroic late flurry possible.
Muir paid tribute to Daniel, a small but explosive flank.
"He has all the skills but we we needed to know whether he was tough enough to play at this level. I think he showed that he is."
The man-of-the-match award went to Daniel but it should have gone to JP Nel who turned both the match and Steyn on their heads. The Sharks should have carried the Bulls centre from the field.